One of my clients asked me to coach her on her time management issues. She described me how busy her “normal” day was, how she was getting the daily workload at the office done or postponed, how she was trying… to fit in some personal errands, handling the kids (5 years and 8 months) and how exhausted she was in the evening. Then at the end of the week as she looked back, it just didn’t seem like she was making something. Her house was a mess, the fridge was almost always empty or full with junk food, there was no time for friends, kids, parents and… sex with her husband was an ancient memory. Feelings of frustration and overwhelm took over and she felt discouraged.
I am so sure that many of you fit in this scenario that occurs most days, and as you watch the weeks turn in months and into years you seldom seem to get ahead as you had expected.
Now…most of us already are familiar with the “time management” issues, tips & tricks and so on…
OK, then… why the hell does not this work??? How come that we really do not have time? We don’t have time to take our time!
Well… the IDEA hit me in a gas station, as I was waiting in a loooong line, at the ladies rest-room, looking at the men’s door which was either free, or it was opened by three men while only one lady was in on the other site.
THERE IS NO “TIME MANAGEMENT”!!
Speaking about tips & tricks … we are not handling the time, but the ACTIONS that can be done starting from …until…
It depends on HOW you do the action if the DURATION is shorter or longer. It depends on the URGE of the task.
It depends on your MOTIVATION …
I mean, even if a colleague asks you out for a short break and you say “NO” ( as you learned in your TM training just finished), but you completely hate what you are doing… it will take you maybe double the time to finish that task…
These observations shifted my entire thinking! Cause I was also desperate to manage the time… and I could not…What I learned in NLP says clear that the words we use create our reality. Trying to ”manage the time” brought me only frustration and more time lost to find out what to do to manage the time .
So I decided that I am going to shift to “ACTIONS MANAGEMENT”… and “MONEY MANAGEMENT” as well.
I mean… there is no use to tell my husband “I’m ready in 5 minutes” and have a hard fight on getting late to his mother’s birthday, if I know for sure that it takes me 15 minutes only to decide what blouse to wear!
So I said the following (action based thinking):
“Honey, I’m going to choose something to put on, take a shower and have my make-up. We may go after that…ok?”
“OK, dear!” said he, as he lied down on the sofa, with the remote in his hand, preparing to watch a football game…
No more pain, right? No more money on marriage counseling, ok?
“Action management thinking” is also how I actually introduced another task in my already busy day: cooking! Yes! Because I linked so much pain in all the small tasks that I hated to do, I did not cook… but it brought no quite dinner at home with family, not very healthy food and money spent for restaurants or ordered food. Now the little one helps, my husband is putting the table and we are all happy together, spending quality TIME!
Now, friends… what do you think about this?
Does it make any sense for you to decide what action to take, how to do it and how much joy do you attach to it? Let me know how I can coach better on this issue.
Get coached! Go through change! Become gorgeous!